Greek Mythology in 5 Minutes

[larryhammer]

The It Was This Or Work On My Novel Players present:


Greek Mythology in 5 Minutes


Gods and Goddesses: *come into being*

Zeus: Oo, look at the hottie!

Hera: A-hem!

Mortal: Run away! Run away! *transforms*

Zeus: Well, foo.

Another Mortal: Aw, I'm better than some old god or goddess.

Some Old God or Goddess: I heard that!

Another Mortal: Oops. *transforms*

Heracles: *flexes a muscle*

Hera: That's enough of that, young man.

Heracles: *labors*

Cerberus: Arf!³

Orpheus: My singing is so pretty I can bring my wife back from the dead. Mi-mi-mi-mi! As long as I don't peek, that is.

Hades: Ha! Made you look.

Orpheus: *cries*

Yet Another Mortal: *insults, slights, or just forgets god or goddess*

God or Goddess: I'll get you for this! And your little dog, too!

Yet Another Mortal: Oops. *dies horribly*

Theseus: Hey, I'm better than the Herc. *kills Minotaur* See? See?

Everyone Else: *pays no attention*

Pygmalion: Now THAT is a total stone babe.

Tiresias: Did I ever tell you about the time I was a woman? Hoo, boy, that was fun!

Oedipus: *stabs out eyes with spork*

SEVERAL of the ABOVE SCENES are REPEATED in DIFFERENT COMBINATIONS

Eris: Bored now. Let's have a war. *throws apple*

Aphrodite, Athena, & Hera: Mine!³

Paris: I'll pick bachelorette #1, Bob.

Aphrodite: Still the prettiest! Oh, and here's a babe for you.

Helen: You called?

Greeks: Hey! She's OUR babe! *fight Trojans*

Trojans: Screw you -- she's ours now. *fight Greeks*

Helen: All this for silly ol' me? La!

Paris: Dude.

Many Greeks: *die*

Many Trojans: *die*

Remaining Greeks: Bugger all this for a lark. *pretend to go home*

Remaining Trojans: Pony! *take horse home*

Cassandra: I'm getting a bad feeling about this, Mulder.

Remaining Greeks: *sack Troy*

Hecuba: Men are so STUPID.

Odysseus: *spends ten years sleeping with a witch, a goddess, a nymph, and a princess before finally getting home to his wife*

Penelope: Hmph!

Gods and Goddesses: Bugger all this for a lark. *change to New! Sexy! Latin! names*



Which is my cue to either *transform* or *die horribly*.

---L.

Comments

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that just about covers it.

Odysseus: *spends ten years sleeping with a witch, a goddess, a nymph, and a princess before finally getting home to his wife*

I read that as "before finally getting some from his wife."

[larryhammer]

To quote someone else, ::giggles madly::

---L.