“i guess i lost a little bit of self-esteem / that time that you made it with the whole hockey team”

[larryhammer]

Did you know that the 2023 Bulwer-Lytton Contest winners have been announced? Well, now you do. My favorite is the first Dishonorable Mention from the Adventure category:

If there’s a snake in your boot, you dump it out by the creek, and if it’s got feathers, you dump it out in the creek, and if it’s talkin’ at you, you dump it out gently and apologize and keep an eye out for the mama dragon, and tarnation these city slickers don’t know the first thing about stayin’ alive out here.

Mara Lynn Johnstone, Santa Rose, CA

I totally would read that novel.

If, like many, you are grumpy about how self-aware so many entries are, may I direct you to this year’s winners of the Lyttle Lytton Contest? The brevity rule (all of your entries, combined, must be under 200 characters) tends to enforce actual, yanno, badness. Overall winner:

The sorrowful sun sank into the tears that were the waves, and Sammy too began to cry a bit.

W. Oakley

I totally would not read that novel.

---L.

Subject quote from You Don't Love Me Anymore, Weird Al Yankovic.

Comments

[sovay]

If there’s a snake in your boot, you dump it out by the creek, and if it’s got feathers, you dump it out in the creek, and if it’s talkin’ at you, you dump it out gently and apologize and keep an eye out for the mama dragon, and tarnation these city slickers don’t know the first thing about stayin’ alive out here.

I would also read that book!

[larryhammer]

We need to petition the author ...

[movingfinger]

The first example is not bad writing!

[larryhammer]

It's great storytelling, is what it is.

[oracne]

Go Mara Lynn Johnstone!!!

[larryhammer]

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