"You can't have my fear, I'm not getting out of here alive anyway"

[larryhammer]

Still night, though the ceiling fan is on, of course. The only light is the alarm clock, maybe a little city sky through the curtains. Lie still, slow breathing. Relax all muscles, let the mind drift. Let day's cares wear away. Sleep will come. Eventually.

Glance at the clock: a half hour has passed since the light went out, and sleep no closer. Don't sigh. Roll over, if needed.

Lie still, relax all muscles, one at a time. Try to think of nothing. Or try counting the wobbles of the fan.

Is the alarm really set to the dimmest setting? Yeah. Still feels like you could read to it. Maybe not. But the numbers are bright enough, you wouldn't trip over something even in the far corner. Flicker. Oh look, a digit changed.

Close the eyes. That's darker. Lie still, relax. Ignore the distant siren. Count the fan wobbles by fives.

Why do we have a green alarm clock, anyway? Shouldn't it be blue, to match the blue horrors of insomnia? Green is too perky. Check whether it's changed color. A half hour has passed. Don't sigh. Roll to face away from the clock.

Lie still. Count the fan wobbles by prime numbers. Tell a story about why it's important, with a cyber-ogre and a ticking bomb and -- no, that's too exciting. It's a code-breaking thing. Searching for patterns. SETI. A detector in interstellar space, with an AI slowly drifting. Slowly drifting off. By the time you've counted the first 24 primes (963) you will be ... still not asleep.

A half hour has passed. Don't cuss.

Give up for now -- go putter online for an hour.

And when you return, repeat from the start.

---L.

Comments

[sfmarty.livejournal.com]

Oh golly, too familiar. Usually I just give up and read. When you have a peacefully sleeping partner tho, hope you have a couch. (g)

Trouble is, if you do anything really interesting it will wake you up until you have to get up, then exhaustion sets in.

[larryhammer]

And if the book is too interesting, you'll try to stay awake to finish it.

---L.

[sharonskinner.livejournal.com]

Ah, you describe many familiar nights, with the exception of the prime numbers, of course. As you may recall, I don't do math. I even prefer to mark my sheep with letters rather than count them. But I usually give that up when I get to XXX.

:-P

[larryhammer]

Do you ever spell things out with the sheep?

---L.

[sharonskinner.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm . . .
I hadn't actually thought of that.
Oh no! Now, I'll never get to sleep!

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

You just don't pull out a book-light and read? I get my best and most uninterrupted reading done during the night donut holes.

[larryhammer]

Book-lights disturb others in the bed. I go to another room to read. Which I do as much as go online, really.

---L.

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

Oh, understood. hen you have to get up and go, then everything hcanges. A bed partner who sleeps like a log is optimal in these sitches--but we can't always control that!

[jorrie-spencer.livejournal.com]

I think there are ebook readers that might be less disturbing than book lights. But since I've never actually seen one, I could be quite wrong.

[alpha-strike.livejournal.com]

Why are alarm clocks so bright, anyway?

[larryhammer]

I think so they'll be visible in daylight.

...

---L.

[(Anonymous)]

My physician told me to find an alarm clock that isn't lit precisely because my clock was bright enough to light the room and too easy to see in the dark. Seeing the time creates anxiety for me ("OMG! I need to get to sleep') and the light helps keep me awake. An alarm clock that doesn't light unless I push a button seems to help.

[larryhammer]

Having to push a button is a thought, but then I'd never get to snooze -- because I can do that repeatedly without waking up, unless I like have to get up to do it.

---L.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

Cyber-ogres and ticking bombs would be a tad too exciting, though when I can't sleep I sometimes find myself building a scene from a story then going over endless permutations, until I've sucked all possible life from that idea and still hate it.

I can spend hours not-sleeping this way.

[larryhammer]

Yeah. That.

---L.