“big dreamers shoot for open sky/so much life in those open eyes/so much depth you look for light”

[larryhammer]

For Poetry Monday, some self-indulgence:


Presented When Zhang Yunrong Danced, Yang Yuhuan, tr. Larry Hammer

A gauze sleeve stirs thick incense without ceasing,
Red lotuses so graceful in the autumn mist.
Soft clouds upon the mountain suddenly shake in the wind,
Light willows by the pond begin to brush the water.



Some of the tropes and imagery of wuxia are very old indeed. Yang Yuhuan (719-756), also known as Yang Guifei (“Imperial Consort Yang”), was a musician, legendary beauty, and the last principal consort of Emperor Xuanzong. Her death during the An Lushan Rebellion was memorialized in Song of Lasting Regret.

---L.

Index of Chinese translations

Subject quote from Rainbow, Sia.

Comments

[sartorias]

Nice!

[larryhammer]

The more I worked with it, the more I liked it.

[sovay]

For Poetry Monday, some self-indulgence

Yay!

[larryhammer]

I also tweaked the second line. (I don't know that the draft was wrong, but I suspect that "spiral up" is a modern meaning and am pretty the imagery is stronger when the flowers are swirls in the smoke.)

[sovay]

I also tweaked the second line.

I saw that! I don't know how it interacts with the original wording, but I like the absence of verb here; it's both less specific and more cinematic, which fits the wuxia aesthetic.

[lnhammer]

The issue is 袅袅, niǎoniǎo, which when duplicated like that is usually read as curling/swirling upwards (like smoke) or having similar motion, but can (like the doubled incense in the first line) can simply be an intensified lissom/graceful.

[sunlit_stone]

Just wanted to register that (although I know I'm missing at least 95% of the context for any given poem) I definitely enjoy reading your translations, and this one is really lovely. Thanks for sharing!

[larryhammer]

Thankee, and de nada.