careful the things you say / children will listen / children may not obey / but children will listen

[larryhammer]

This one got linked around a lot, but it's still worth another boost: How to Land Your Kid in Therapy. By focusing too much on always being happy, preventing them from having to learn how to deal with adversity, and giving too many choices. Essay is by a practicing therapist, but also includes study data backing up her anecdotes.

---L.

Comments

[galeni.livejournal.com]

Makes sense. So letting my kids almost fail math is 7th grade was a good thing -- I left it up to them, when it wouldn't hurt too much if they failed. (Freaks out parents who helped their kids with homework, though.)

[larryhammer]

I believe that, about freaking those parents.

---L.

[galeni.livejournal.com]

But if you don't let kids fail, they never learn to cope with it, and you're crippling them for the rest of their life. I was/am lousy (hopeless) at getting them to do chores and such, but I was "good enough" which is, well, enough.

Still, I look at high-achieving kids and know mine could have done better if I'd pushed and sacrificed more. But would it have been worth it in the end? No one knows.

[larryhammer]

Exactly. No one does.

---L.