"I am impressed at the amount effort which can be expended in ... something so profoundly awful"

[larryhammer]

Further follow-up: I never did provide a Ninja Replacement Score for my Iceland reading, despite asking if you wanted it. There's three reasons for this:

1. What I took was Ovid's Metamorphoses, which isn't readily analyzed for ninja replacement, what with there being 150-odd stories told or summarized. Not to mention, gods do kinda trump ninjas.
   
2. I only got through book 13 while on the trip, and didn't actually finish until a couple months after.
   
3. I am made of fail.

That said, I do remember some stories that could have been improved by replacing someone with a ninja. Daphne comes to mind. Persephone. Arethusa. Hermaphroditus. Cornix. Any mortal who gets raped by a god, pretty much* -- and Ovid's got a metric trireme-ful of 'em. These aren't the only possible replacements, but the most striking ones. So total NRS is indeterminate but on the high side.

Which just goes to show the method's weakness. 'Cause, dude, Metamorphoses? Totally NOT the sucky.

Now to figure out what long poem to rate over the holidays.


* The exception being Caeneus, who does turn into a ninja. Well, into a man with invulnerable skin, which is close enough in awesome narrative value.

---L.

Comments

[oracne.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.

Cowboy ninjas.

[larryhammer]

Tastes even better than kung fu cowboys.

---L.

[oracne.livejournal.com]

Cowboy ninjas versus kung fu cowboys.

[larryhammer]

That would rock.

(One of these years, I'll write that wuxia chivalric romance epic poem I've been thinking of -- kinda like Orlando Furioso invades Wing Chung. Except Wing Chung isn't acutally wuxia. Paladins versus kung fu swordsmen, though.)

---L.

[janni.livejournal.com]

Like everyone says, even a good story can always be made better. :-)

[rymenhild.livejournal.com]

Observing your current music (current novel?) I started thinking about the Ninja Replacement Score of The Masqueraders.

Zero, isn't it? All of the main characters are already ninjas.

[larryhammer]

I'll get back to you when I get past chapter 1. :-)

---L.

[angevin2.livejournal.com]

Now to figure out what long poem to rate over the holidays.

CIVIL WARS! CIVIL WARS!

Besides, it already has pirates, so. ;)

[larryhammer]

Oh, right. I promised to finish that, didn't I. Uh, months ago. (See #3 above.)

In fact, I'd been considering John Brown's Body. Just need to change which civil war to read about.

---L.

[angevin2.livejournal.com]

John Brown's Body is a Good Thing. But I didn't spend practically forever transcribing it. ;)

[gillpolack.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking about this. It strikes me that some stories are beyond ninjas. They need to move to a higher plane of improvement. You should think of the possibility of doing a bossy Japanese schoolgirl count, instead of a ninja count. I can see Psyche being much improved by being replaced by a Japanese schoolgirl. Put a ninja up against the right cultic godhead type of obnoxious schoolgirl (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haruhi_Suzumiya) and the ninjas would run away screaming.

[larryhammer]

Haruhi Suzumiya kinda trumps everybody, by her nature. Even, as you say, ninjas.

---L.

[gillpolack.livejournal.com]

It makes her useful to give more interest to Ovid. Or at least to find out if there's more interest that can be given.