Dear Yulemouse

(Context: Yuletide is an annual fanfiction gift exchange for very small fandoms, notable for its large number of participants and the high average quality of stories. Last year, I received this lovely Kokinshu fic and wrote a swords-and-sandals adventure about young Agamemnon. I'm participating again this year, once more offering and requesting only public-domain fandoms.)

Thank you for offering to write a story in one of these fandoms. In general, I'm not picky -- when I say "any" I mean *anything* would delight me. Just the fact that you have offered to write in one of these indicates that you are a person of excellent taste, which means I'm sure I'll be delighted with anything you come up with.

On the off chance that it might be more useful than the above, here's some notes on my requests.


1. Ramayana

An epic poem in Sanskrit, one of the two national epics of India.

I want to see how Sita's abduction by Ravana would play out if she was, or were replaced by, a ninja. (Where by "ninja" I mean an actual ninja, not a functional equivalent.) I mean, obviously she'd still lose and be abducted -- because, well, Ravana -- but at least she'd lose INTERESTINGLY. And not be so stupid in the lead-up.

Context for this request can be found here. Context for the idea of replacing characters with ninjas is here. The public-domain translation of the Ramayana I've been reading is here -- the abduction takes place in Book 3.


2. Kokinwakashuu (Kokinshu)

A poetry anthology compiled around 905 C.E. of 1111 mostly short poems arranged in 20 thematic books, which set the tone and topics of Japanese poetry for the next thousand years (minus a few decades).

Anything would be good. Possible prompts include:

• A story elaborating any poetry exchange, such as #782-783, or #62-63, or #938.
  
• A story about Ono no Komachi, including her poems.
  
• The progress of a love affair as documented through various anonymous poems of books 11-15.
  
• The year's seasons as refracted through the first six books.
  
• Modern life if poems were still used socially as they were in the Heian era.

Or anything else the collection might inspire you to write.

The most readily available modern translations are by Rodd & Henkenius and by Helen Craig McCullough -- both are reasonably accurate, with McCullough's being slightly more readable but way under-annotated. I've translated the first two books starting in this post (ebook version), with book III ongoing in my other journal. I've also posted poems at random, including Komachi's complete works, under my translation tag.


3. Journey to the West

A picaresque Chinese novel about the (mis)adventures of a T'ang dynasty monk who traveled to India to retrieve clean copies of the Buddhist sutras, accompanied by a Monkey, a Pig, a River Demon, and a dragon disguised as a horse, all of whom are only in it to get shortened sentences for past misdeeds. Everything that could possibly go wrong does, at entertaining length. One of the few works of classic literature to include canonical m-preg.

Again, anything, as long at it has Monkey. (Marvelous Monkey!) Possible prompts:

• A "lost" episode from the journey.
  
• "Worst Journey to the West" - a Worst Journey in the World crossover (context)
  
• "Song of the Journey Southwest" - in which Monkey meets the Tarbaby (context)

Or something else. Surprise me!

There are two English translations currently in print -- I read Jenner's, which is available in paperback and online, but Yu's also has a good reputation. Waley's older Monkey is an abridgment.


---L.

"...seeds of sin, / Which every goodly feeling does destroy / And more or less his afterlife annoy"

So last weekend, my local science fiction convention allowed me to host another round-robin bad poetry reading, and you can tell the programming person is a genius because he's the one who decided to call it "Vogon Poetry." I wish I'd thought of that, and will henceforth steal use it when I propose this to other cons.

A good, or at least hilarity-filled, time was had by all. On the menu this year:

• "Tay Bridge Disaster," William McGonagall
  
• "A New Temperance Poem, in Memory of My Departed Parents, Who Were Sober Living & God Fearing People," William McGonagall
  
• "The Dundee Flower Show," William McGonagall
  
• "A Tragedy," Theophile Marzials
  
• a selection from The Insect Hunters, Edward Newman (via The Worst English Poets)
  
• a selection of Proverbial Philosophy, Martin Tupper (via The Stuffed Owl)
  
• "Ode on the Giant Cheese," James McIntyre
  
• "The Oxford Cheese Ode," James McIntyre
  
• "To the Very Great Victory Against the Traitor Counter-Revolutionaries Betraying the Workers of Hungary, 4 November 1956!," Larry Hammer

The McGonagall, Marzials, and McIntyre poems were all suitably disasterous, usually taking 4-5 people to get through each one. The Newman and Tupper were bad, but not bad in the right way.

As for my own effort, I now have empirical evidence that it is nowhere near as bad as the true masters before it. It isn't anything approaching good, but it's not wretched in that painful-to-recite sort of way. I am, it seems, simply not that skilled at misfiring language. Sorry, stevendj.