Linguistics
20 January 2026 01:08 pmHey ding-dongs, let’s have a chit-chat about Ablaut reduplication.
If you have three words, the order usually goes 'I-A-O.'
-tic-tac-toe
If there are only two words, ‘I’ is the first and the second is either ‘A’ or ‘O.’
-click-clack
-King-Kong
I can think of a few exceptions, like "bone-dry," and more rhymes like "helter-skelter." Some like "merry-go-round" seem to follow a similar high to low pattern.
Snowflake Challenge Day #10
20 January 2026 01:51 pm
Challenge #10: Big Mood (Board)
CHOOSE SOMETHING YOU LOVE AND CREATE A MINI MOOD COLLECTION OF THREE (or more) ITEMS THAT EVOKE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT IT. You don’t have to limit yourself to visual media, or collect the items into a special format like a square (though you can if you’d like).
So yesterday while doing some editing on Fanlore I found out what a colorbar was and I thought they were kind of neat. So for today's Snowflake Challenge I'm twenty years too late for a trend and made a colorbar for Holmes/Watson:

And yes I do realize one pic is of Basil/Dawson, but they are the mouse equivalent for Holmes/Watson, and I love them.
Personalised bingo card offer
20 January 2026 06:16 pmAnyway, thought of something fannish and fun I could do if anyone wanted it - I made a personalised bingo card for
... if anyone else would find a custom-made bingo card (for writing/creating prompts) fun/useful/inspiring, comment here and I will have a go at making you one!
(I'll use the Bingo Generator, so it's very easy, and if I fail and include some rubbish prompts, a new card without such prompts can magically be re-generated with no trouble. Will do any size from 2x2 to 5x5.)
So just comment here if you'd like one & say what size card you'd prefer. You can also point me to/away from any fandoms/prompt types etc if you'd like, but no need. (If I'm really stuck for some reason, I'll just ask you for some pointers!)
fun fact from Merriam Webster
20 January 2026 01:17 pmIf you have three words, the order usually goes 'I-A-O.'
-tic-tac-toe
If there are only two words, ‘I’ is the first and the second is either ‘A’ or ‘O.’
-click-clack
-King-Kong
Book reaction: Beggars and Choosers (Nancy Kress)
20 January 2026 10:52 amYesterday, I finished reading Beggars and Choosers by Nancy Kress, the sequel to Beggars in Spain. I enjoyed this book and found it engaging enough that the problems I had with Beggars in Spain no longer bother me.
As I noted in my reaction to Beggars in Spain, given the power of the other genetic modifications on the Sleepless, the lack of a need to sleep seems almost like an afterthought. Apparently Kress realized this as well, because in this book, humanity is divided into four groups (listed here in decreasing order of genetic modification):
- Super-sleepless (AKA Supers)
- Sleepless
- Donkeys
- Livers[^1]
The Sleepless are pretty much written out of the story — most of them are in prison by this point, and the ones who aren't are pretty much helpless to affect the course of the story. The Sleepless are still necessary to the overall arc of the story, though, as without them there would be no Super-sleepless.
I think the problems that I still have with both this book and with Beggars in Spain come down to them being the first two parts of a trilogy where the parts are pretty much inseparable[^2]. Looking back from Beggars and Choosers, Beggars in Spain becomes sort of a prologue ("I told you that story so I can tell you this one..."). I don't really feel like it would be possible to tell the story of Beggars and Choosers without having told Beggars in Spain first — there's simply too much to try to squeeze it all into early chapters and/or memories. At the same time, Beggars and Choosers suffers from "second book of a trilogy" disease: it doesn't end so much as just stops.
Also, I'd like to remind/inform you: I keep a list of links to the monthly logs of books that I read at this sticky post, and the monthly logs contain links to the reactions I've written. If you see a book title without a link, it means I haven't written a reaction to that book, but if you'd like to hear what I thought about it, leave a comment and I'll write a reaction!
[^1] I think "Livers" in this context is rather an awkward word — my mind immediately went to the organ, but instead it's formed from the very "to live."
[^2] It seems like there ought to be one word for "three stories told in three consecutive books which share the same world and characters" and another word for "one story split into three books because of the limitations of bookbinding and/or the nature of the publishing industry," instead of using "trilogy" for both.
As Above, So Below
20 January 2026 11:59 am
And the Arctic blast is back. It is cold out. Very, very, very cold. Not supposed to rise above 18° F for the next three days.
###
As above, so below.
Trump is literally sundowning—a thing that happens to many people with dementia. They may seem coherent during the day, but at night, they lose it entirely, hence Trump's late-night social media posting mania: Considering your Country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize for having stopped 8 Wars PLUS, I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of Peace!
The historical comparison is no longer strictly to Nazis anymore—though ICE is the Gestapo.
No, the historical comparison is more to Caligula.
Assuming human history continues past 10 years—to my mind, not a safe assumption at all—historians are going to be asking the same question over & over again, WHY didn't they DO something? He was so obviously insane.
Honestly, I do not know.
This is very, very difficult to live through.
Because, I mean, what do we do?
Ignore it? Keep living our lives as though it isn't happening?
There's a core of physical dread inside of me; I walk around, trying to ignore it, trying to maintain, but that's increasingly hard to do.
###
I have a bunch of errands to do today, plus the gym—bad weather has kept me away from the gym since Thursday last—but I have very little interest in doing them, very little interest in doing anything. Even parking myself in front of a screen & watching mindless television would not distract me from the mind monkey sitting on the Bodhi Tree's branch & chittering.
But ya gotta do what ya gotta do, so I guess I'll force myself to do those errands. As the I Ching reminds us: Perseverance furthers.
Sticker printing alternatives (updated 1/24)
20 January 2026 10:38 amhttps://www.standoutstickers.com/
https://stickerguy.com/
https://thestickybrand.com/en-ca (limited time deals page is worth looking at)
https://thestickerlad.com/home (website looks like a WIP but furry-owned. Prices are ok)
https://stickerninja.com/ (this looks like Stickermule's biggest rival)
https://unionmadestickers.com/en-ca (you can probably use them for non-union stuff lol)
https://stickerblitz.com/ (another rival with good prices)
Vograce orders from China but I've had a good experience ordering sample packs and one-off keychains from them. YMMV. It's better for physical goods. Not sure of any alternatives that let you do one-off orders.
ETA 1/17: Found some more options.
https://wiki.scumsuck.com/resources:stickers (guide on how to print your stickers at home. Lists options for scanners and paper to buy, etc.)
https://zapcreatives.com/en-us (UK based)
ETA 1/24:
https://bearandbeagle.store/ (furry-owned, worth noting because you can input a "due date" for an upcoming convention)
https://www.copybaracreations.com/contact (also furry-owned and convention-oriented, currently no TOS / quote guide but you can contact for one)
https://stickerjerk.com/
https://stickerapp.com/
https://www.stickerbunnies.com/ (I've read good experiences on Bsky, but you have to email to start instead of using an on-site form)
Songs of Resistance
20 January 2026 09:50 am
Your daily laser-eyed loon, this one facing forward, determined, shooting its lasers to say "Melt Ice." (by Rin Mix)
Yesterday, as noted it was one of our colder days. It was also Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, so Shawn had the day off work. I decided to limit my activities, though I did sign up to a Discord group which is organizing around doing laundry for people who have now been stuck indoors for so long trying to wait out the gestapo occupation.
One of the things I decided to do, however, was go singing. Our hyper-local singing group decided that due to the temperature, people would start inside a coffee shop. Our organizer made sure it was okay for us to sing a little bit indoors, but since people in the Twin Cities often gather at coffee shops to do work, we kept our indoor songs to a minimum. We then braved the outdoors for a couple of rounds of various songs, including this incredible re-working of Pete Seeger's "Which Side Are You On?"
The chorous remains the same, but the verses now read:
Come all you good people
Some news to you I'll tell
Of how your loving neighbors
Have come to give ICE hell
Chorus:
Which side are you on?
Which side are you on?
Which side are you on?
Which side are you on?
Another neighbor killed today
Oh when will this all cease?
Another mother dead, my friends
Murdered by police.
[chorus]
My mother was a feminst
And she taught me how to see
The road to ruin is paved with gold
by the patriarchy
[chorus]
So let the North Star* guide us
Back towards democracy
Reject the threats of fascists
Or we can not be free
[chorus]
Oh, neighbors, can you feel it?
Oh, tell me that you can.
Will you stay silent?
Or will you take a stand?
[chorus x2]
I found this version to be incredibly powerful and while we were standing outside the coffee shop on Snelling Avenue singing our hearts out, a car at the stoplight opened its doors. I turned, expecting the worst, but it was a beat-up Toyota and probably the window crank didn't work and so the people inside were trying to hear what we were singing/saying. They were a couple of Lantinx guys and hearing what we were singing brought HUGE SMILES to their faces. When they noticed us noticing them they gave us big thumbs up, smiles, and waves.
That reminded me that even small acts are sustaining... to the fighters and those we fight for.
I also ran into a friend of a friend who also lives in Midway, so it was really nice to actually see a familiar face while out and about.
I was also happy to see that the New York Times finally had a big article about the mutual aid efforts in today's paper.They focused exculsively on the food donattions, and again, I wish that people could see the whole huge variety of things people are doing--the scope of which is truly staggering. However, it's a good article and if you are local (or are interested in what I'm talking about),
All right, comrades. Stay warm! Stay strong!
===
For those of you who might not know, the Minnesota state motto is E'toile du Nord (in French) which translates as The Star of the North. If you see protestors shouting that phrase, they are not Canadian (or French) agitators, but folks who have decided that being the star of the north means that we are leading the country in how to defend democracy.
The Spy Who Loved Me - chapters 14 and 15
20 January 2026 04:07 pmComment: The line ‘all women love semi-rape’ left me speechless. Also, again Bond hasn't bothered to check the status of the bodies in the car ... which he admits was an error, but such a rookie one for somebody as experienced as he is!
Chapter 15: ( Read more... )
Comment: Mostly under a cut, other than the observation that Bond is pretty open with being a 'secret' agent - not very secret at all! ( Read more... )
And that's the end of this one! What's next?
wistful sigh
20 January 2026 05:07 pmHowever, one thing I will be taking from Snowflake is the top 10 lists, outsourced. Ask me for any and I'll answer in the comments!
I am also going to make a little wishlist, much smaller than the one for Christmas. This is stuff that would make me happy:
- Jigsaw puzzles
- PS5 gift cards
- Subscriptions to my ko-fi, which I'm planning to turn into a place to share all my TTRPG card, homebrew, merch and map designs
- 4. Art of my PCs from the TTRPG campaigns I play in
-
It's been a pretty stressful month, money-wise. We've managed, but it is what it is. Doesn't help that it's cold and that I'm the only person in this house who's capable of not taking things out on other people. I've been doing jigsaw puzzles and deleting photos from my backlog and trying to figure out a permanent set-up for my day-a-page planner, which I keep meaning to post about to
One upside that's been keeping me sane is the soft light my friend Nate got me, which I use to get selfies even when it's too dark because winter. It helps my self-esteem a lot, even if I'm more aware of the way my skin keeps breaking out. I figure most of that is coming from the same place as the daily nightmares.
Tuesday DE
20 January 2026 07:39 amHere we go now... [work]
20 January 2026 10:36 amInstead I get to do fun things like get my syllabus photocopied and Muppet-flail about how very soon my time will no longer belong to me.
Monday and Tuesday, too
20 January 2026 10:28 amMonday, condensed
The Long Back Yard
1 Monday morning. Snowing lightly. And the sound of chainsaws from next door.
I expect it will be my turn when and if the guys get here with the equipment since they have to take down two big pines for me.
In the meantime, since I don't have any work to do today, I'm sitting in the comfy chair in the window in my office with the happy light on, dictating this note to the world.
How's everybody doing today?
2 My mission today, aside from staying away from chainsaws and falling logs, is to change out the cat fountains, and catch up with friends at Front and Main this afternoon.
I will also, today, or tomorrow, be posting Explanatory Notes to the Read-Along thread on Splinter Universe, explaining why I fell off the wagon, and offering some insights to the rest of Agent of Change and Conflict of Honors.
I am now reading Carpe Diem, aka Val Con and Miri go to Madison, Maine, which I'll note that they arrived there before we did. We finished Carpe and mailed it to our editor before we made our own migration to Maine, where we fetched up in Skowhegan, which is right handy to Madison. The first time we drove through Madison's shopping district, I said to Steve, "This looks really familiar." And he laughed at me, the rat. Which is when the penny dropped, and I said, "It's real?"
3 Well. That's a different look. I purely hate taking down trees, and, yes, I know that these were in fact very sick trees, and a danger to the house in the next high wind, and that the top of one had already (previous to our tenancy) snapped off in a windstorm, but -- still.
Trees.
4 So, that was a nice visit before the group splits for winter vacations. Front and Main has an amazing lobby. There was a woman at one of the tables all set up with her papers and her laptop, and honestly I think she's on to something. The tomato-veggie-lentil soup was very good, and so was the company.
Went to the grocery after, but forgot to go to the hardware store. Ah, well. I'll be out again tomorrow.
I believe I will putter for the rest of the day. Maybe make a frittata and see how that goes. I should freeze the second pork chop so I have something to draw on; I let the freezer get a little low. I made a fresh batch of hummus a couple days ago, so that's not quite gone. Maybe some time this week I can bake bread. Oh! And I can finally finish my second glass piece.
So this is what people who don't write books do. Wow.
Still snowing, just enough to be pretty.
While the tree guys were doing their thing, Firefly and Tali went back to Steve's office, but Rook vanished, so he missed the play-by-play. When I came home, he had a lot to say about how the trees are gone, Mom, while he was sitting on my lap, banging his head on my chin. I think we've managed to agree that it was probably for the best, since he's had a wee dram of dry food and wandered off to the bedroom window.
And so, the midday report.
* * * * *
The Long Back Yard:

#
Tuesday. Sunny and cold. Trash and recycling are at the curb. The space where the trees used to be is noticeable, but not raw, thanks to the snow.
Breakfast was leftover soup. Lunch with either be leftover frittata or leftover pork and sauerkraut. Prolly pork; frittata will go better in the evening, after needlework.
I have errands this morning, because! not only did I forget I needed to go to the hardware store yesterday, and even though I was there, I forgot to pick up my meds, so back to the grocery for me.
I woke up at 5, and said to Tali, who happened to be sleeping next to me at that time, "I don't have to get up now." She knocked her head into my chin -- I'm not sure if she picked that piece of communication up from Rook or he from her -- and started to purr. And I went back to sleep.
I thought I was going to update the Read-Along blog last night, but I wasn't able to get into Splinter Universe. That's been fixed, so I can get with that today. Instead of updating, last night I carried on with Carpe Diem, where I've just now gotten to the point where Val Con is introducing his kin's theme songs to Miri.
And that's what I've got this morning.
What's everybody doing today?
Shortcut General Tso’s Chicken (Ground Chicken!)
20 January 2026 01:57 pm
Ground chicken is the key to making a Shortcut General Tso’s Chicken that cuts out extra chopping and deep-frying steps without compromising on the sweet tangy sauce and satisfyingly craggly texture! We have a simple step-by-step recipe as well as a YouTube video showing you how to make it! Ground chicken to the rescue! When […]Bad Sisters zines (drawings + drabbles): Ursula Garvey takes pictures
20 January 2026 11:05 amTitle: Ursula Garvey takes pictures
Fandom: Bad Sisters
Characters: Ursula, Eva, Bibi, Grace, and Becka Garvey
Rating: T
Length: Sixteen total pages (two zines) displayed in pairs.
Notes: Done with Chinese ink.
Summary: Two minizines about Urs taking pictures of her sisters, with illustrations in one of them and drabbles that correspond to those illustrations on the other.
( Read more... )
tuesday
20 January 2026 08:49 am
"Eight". Good morning. The sun is back. It's cold. -1F (-18C). -16F (-27C) with the wind chill. More impressive in celsius. I had a pajama day yesterday and think I will do the same today. Keeping busy with sewing the pin loom blanket together:

Homeward By Starlight & On Thud and Blunder by Poul Anderson
20 January 2026 08:39 am
November 25, 2026 would have been Poul Anderson’s 100th birthday. As there is no guarantee any of us will see November 25, 2026, I’ll borrow an idea from Tom Lehrer’s That Was the Year That Was and start writing something appropriately celebratory now.
Homeward By Starlight

Improve your sword and sorcery through inspirational verisimilitude!
On Thud and Blunder by Poul Anderson
Fast Food Facts
20 January 2026 01:47 pmKFC came to the UK in 1965. Unlike its rivals it it didn't immediately go to London or even a major city- but opened its first branch way up north in Preston, Lancashire.
As of the present moment the number of UK outlets belonging to each of the (originally) American Fast Food giants is
McDonald's- 1494
KFC- 1016
Burger King- 574
Wimpy's- 61
The Pitt: i want to be the one patrolling your border by Lirazel
20 January 2026 12:50 pmThis is my first time posting here, hope I'm doing it right
Fandom: The Pitt
Pairings/Characters: Mel King/Frank Langdon
Rating: Explicit
Length: 15,986
Creator Links: Lirazel on Ao3,
lirazel
Theme: Crack treated seriously, (not really) unrequited love, (something) made them do it, sex pollen
Summary:
There are all kinds of protocols in place to prevent this sort of thing, but of course they mean exactly nothing when faced with the reality of emergency medicine.
Frank and Trinity both complain that Mel has no sense of self-preservation, but she’s actually a very careful and responsible person. Despite what they say, she never puts herself in danger if she can help it, she feels that she makes level-headed decisions even under pressure, and even if she usually finds people hard to read, she’s read The Gift of Fear and is pretty sure she can tell when someone has actually malicious intent.
Pretty sure until, with no warning at all, a patient—Griffin Jackson, white male, 27, complaining of chest pains—pulls out a tiny jar of neon-yellow powder and pops off the top.
Reccer's note: This is a classic fandom trope (sex pollen) treated seriously. Mel and Frank are just co-workers in canon, but in canon it's obvious they have a connection and this fic explores how much they might grow to mean to each other, and it does so while keeping them (and all other characters that appear) tremendously in character. The sex is, of course, very hot too. :D And the fic also does consent right!
Fanwork Links: i want to be the one patrolling your border
Mods, we need a tag for The Pitt and the pairing too maybe, please? Thank you.
Goodreads friending
20 January 2026 07:34 pmwww.goodreads.com/user/show/166316839-alex-isle
It's been so hot today that I haven't done much more than read and mess around on Goodreads. We had 38^C here in the "cooler" coastal bit and it's going to continue doing that for a bit.
2026/012: Troth — E H Lupton
20 January 2026 11:08 am“Don’t be so bourgeois, darling. You’re a powerful magician and your lover is a retired god. Of course things are going to be a bit unusual.”
“It’s terrifying.”
“Eh, bien?” Mariah made a dismissive French noise. “It’s love. It’s supposed to be terrifying.” [p. 191]
Third in the series, and the last (for now) of the novels that focus on Ulysses and Sam. It begins with the two moving into a new apartment together, and meeting the neighbours (Vikram and Sita) who have a ghost problem -- and, it turns out, a connection to Sam's family.
Both Ulysses and Sam are growing up.( Read more... )
Panto time! Oh yes it is!
20 January 2026 11:00 amI found this Cinderella from 2000 on YouTube and thought it would be fun to share it here, especially for the benefit of those of you in poor benighted countries that don't do panto. Apologies for the iffy technical quality (360p, aspect ratio etc) but in all honesty if you require beautifully slick presentation then you probably won't enjoy panto anyway! This isn't the best panto I've ever seen, and I think it loses steam a little in the second half, but it's certainly far from the worst. And yes, non-panto-people, it absolutely is required for there to be about four hundred dodgy innuendos in front of an audience of eight-year-olds. That's how panto works. I don't even like innuendo humour, and I still make an exception here. Have fun, boys and girls!
snowflake 2k26 #10
20 January 2026 10:28 amChallenge #10: Big Mood (Board).
CHOOSE SOMETHING YOU LOVE AND CREATE A MINI MOOD COLLECTION OF THREE (or more) ITEMS THAT EVOKE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT IT. You don’t have to limit yourself to visual media, or collect the items into a special format like a square (though you can if you’d like).
I love putting on music to set the mood while I'm writing. Among other things, but I get a bit more involved with Writing Playlists than with Studying Playlists or Workout Playlists (where I often just download a instrumental blues/trap youtube playlists respectively and call it a day LOL). I download my music instead of using spotify or similar services, so I can always drag the few chosen songs I want for a while, switch it up, add and remove songs, have them on repeat if that's what's working at the moment... And I always use instrumental music, because it's great for building an atmosphere without distracting me.
I thought I'd share the songs I've been putting on to write lately! Although other than some outlining/looking over WIPs, these days I've mostly just done a handful of
- Dave Porter - A Carol for Carol. The entirety of Pluribus's soundtrack is in rotation, but this one is my favourite.
- Bear McCreary - Wondrous Love. Black Sails's soundtrack (and Bear McCreary in general) is another recurrent visit around here LOL.
- Antonio Vivaldi - Concerto for violin, strings, and basso continuo in A minor RV356 No. 6 Op.3 "L'estro Armonico."
- Christophe Beck - Close Your Eyes.
- Clint Mansell - Lux Aeterna. Usually I pick songs he did for Black Swan but this one is getting to me more, lately.
- Ara Malikian - Bachelorette (Björk cover).
- Lolita Ritmanis - Catwoman: Chase Me.
- Hans Zimmer & Junkie XL - Beautiful Lie. Another A+ soundtrack IMO.
- Angelo Badalamenti - Laura Palmer's Theme.
- Kerenza Peacock - Dancing Folk: I. First Movement.
- Gwenifer Raymond - Last Night I Heard The Dog Star Bark.
- Bioshock soundtrack - Welcome to Rapture. I can't concentrate enough to play videogames but I sure love their OSTs.
- Jed Kurzel - The Covenant. The Alien prequels' soundtrack also goes in and out a lot lol.
Today's grump: philosophy
20 January 2026 06:09 pm.. I'm not being grumpy at all philosophy today, although I have days when I encounter bits and I have Thoughts and Opinions that can be summed up as 'philsophy sucks'. I have not, historically, engaged very well with particular bits of philosophical thinking and/or the way it is presented.
Today, I'm struggling, because I am being too literal. And because the starting point is swan == white, and then the author is extrapolating out from that. I, however, fall over at the first hurdle, because I have to stop and parse swan==white, and spend time getting out of my comfort zone, rather than starting in my comfort zone. And I get that this is Western Australia is a niche case (and, presumably, anywhere our swans have gone and set up communities) issue.
And not only do I struggle when I encounter this damn thinking. But I get annoyed. Black swans have been known about *in Europe*---the source of most of the philosophy I try reading---for at least 150 years (the Swan River Colony was established in 1829, there were French and Dutch explorers in the vicinity before). These explanations don't start with 'let us assume that there are only white swans' or anything acknowledging this. Or at least, the ones I remember encountering don't.
I hate not being able to grasp the foundational thought on which the next n pieces are built. It makes it so hard to read. I suspect I'm going to skip this chapter and see whether the next one (different authors) is better.
3265. Snowflake #5: Wishlist
20 January 2026 04:05 amI am perpetually horrible at this, but here goes....
Free Things
- book recs - bonus points if I can get it thru the QLL. I read mostly SFF, though I'm willing to go broad for really well-told queer romance
- music recs - songs/artists that make you happy! I listen broadly (despite my focus in Kpop lately), so unless it's BTS, throw it at me 😜
- dive into my AO3 -
Not Free Things
Wife maintains a whole host of wishlists via linktree here, including one just for me (Jagu) and one for the kitties.
... or, you know, if someone in the area wanted to come over with a pickup and/or some sort of trailer to haul off a load of trash (long story), that would be awesome.
I'd also put down joining my Patreon/KoFi and/or buying my original fiction, but I'm ... very behind on getting that situation updated thanks to the raging dumpster fire that has been my life lately, so, uh, yeah. But if you wanna.... Patreon, Ko-Fi. Publishing original fiction again IS on my list for the year, but, well. Everything on fire.
Guess I can't complain about this trip anymore...
20 January 2026 09:47 am

The oddest thing is, usually I take pictures of the Northern Lights and they turn out so disappointing compared to the actual thing I saw; yesterday all I could see were faint white lights, and the colors only came up through my camera. No clue what would cause that. Still, a good time was had oooo'ing and aaahhhh'ing.
Things are happening at full speed this trip lol. I haven't even had time to look at my second batch of orca pictures from yesterday (we've left them behind now).
Unsold Poems for the January 6, 2026 Poetry Fishbowl
20 January 2026 12:54 am( Read more... )
Heated Rivalry: All I Do is Stay Winning by Ragazza_Guasto
20 January 2026 06:46 pmCharacters/Pairings: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Cliff Marleau, Connors
Rating: Mature
Length: 5144
Content Notes: no AO3 warnings apply. Descriptions of illness, choking, vomiting.
Creator Links: Ragazza_Guasto on AO3
Themes: Crack treated seriously, Pining, Getting back together, Canon LGBTQ+ characters, Angst with a happy ending
Summary: “Can you believe it? How the hell did he end up bagging her?”
Ilya stared, brain not comprehending what his body already seemed to, that Hollander was dating-
“Rose fuckin’ Landry! How does the lamest guy in the League-”
He knew that smile. He thought it was for him, just for him. But it wasn't.
“No,” he whispered. His stomach spasmed.
“You good, Roz?”
Why would he- How could he-
They were holding hands…
“Rozanov? What the fuck?”
He jumped up from the table and stumbled for the front door, just barely making it through before the first mass of petals came up. He heaved as he ran, trying desperately to get away from the pavement, somewhere he could hide what was happening.
Unfortunately, his teammates had followed, because of course they would. He saw a photo of Shane Hollander holding hands with a movie star and promptly threw up.
Who wouldn't be curious?
Reccer's Notes: Hanahaki disease, where a sufferer of unrequited love starts bringing up flowers, has to be one of the crackiest tropes ever. In this story Ilya develops Hanahaki after seeing the pics of Shane going out with Rose Landry. But it's not some gently romantic fluttering of petals from his lips, it's bloodily bringing up a hard, painful tulip bulb, then more flowers, more bulbs. I guess the trope always has a potentially serious outcome (death vs requited love) but to me the "treated seriously" aspects here are the medical details and treatment, the painful and unromantic way the disease affects Ilya, and the way the fic cleverly incorporates his family history, via his mother. Ilya gets very sick indeed before Shane finds out, with inevitable results. Well written, and a great read.
Fanwork Links: All I Do is Stay Winning
All I Do is Stay Winning (podfic by sd_ryan)
(reading) auden's "in time of war" sonnets from journey to a war
19 January 2026 11:15 pmGot sucked into reading Isherwood’s autobiographical stuff again this weekend (longer letter later), which also led to finally reading the sonnet series Auden wrote for Journey to a War, of which these two especially struck me:
Here war is harmless like a monument …
Here war is harmless like a monument:
A telephone is talking to a man;
Flags on a map declare that troops were sent;
A boy brings milk in bowls. There is a plan
For living men in terror of their lives,
Who thirst at nine who were to thirst at noon,
Who can be lost and are, who miss their wives
And, unlike an idea, can die too soon.
Yet ideas can be true, although men die:
For we have seen a myriad faces
Ecstatic from one lie,
And maps can really point to places
Where life is evil now.
Nanking. Dachau.
Our global story is not yet completed …
Our global story is not yet completed,
Crime, daring, commerce, chatter will go on,
But, as narrators find their memory gone,
Homeless, disterred, these know themselves defeated.
Some could not like nor change the young and mourn for
Some wounded myth that once made children good,
Some lost a world they never understood,
Some saw too clearly all that man was born for.
Loss is their shadow-wife, Anxiety
Receives them like a grand hotel, but where
They may regret they must: their doom to bear
Love for some far forbidden country, see
A native disapprove them with a stare
And Freedom’s back in every door and tree.
1) Insane to see Auden writing the first one in 1938, before WWII had even happened; and 2) boy does the second one ever resonate incidentally with [the collapse of one’s democracy], whoof.
As per usual my experience of reading Auden is finding his work 50/50 totally impenetrable or total knockout; if I manage to make any sense of the poem at all it’s probably really fucking good! But it definitely is if.
Ow
19 January 2026 09:54 pmI have a battery of tests aimed at me for the leg weakness, in case it's neurological.
And my primary care is leaving (again) within a few months. They said last time that I would be assigned to someone in the same practice. That was inaccurate. They're saying it again this time, so I will prepare for battle.
Cats are nice and warm, and extraordinarily heavy on the knees.



