The imagery IS very consonant. Clouds are important, and waters, and flowers -- all of which appear in the outside-world frame and within the valley, but often using synonyms. I paid particular attention to translating significant words the same when reused, and keeping synonyms distinct.
If I were telling this story myself, I'd reorder some of the lines in the middle, but a linear narrative is not prioritized in Chinese narrative poetry, and this poem highlights this in particularly clear ways precisely because the imagery is woven so well. And Wang was 18 (!) when he wrote it.
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Date: 14 July 2022 04:06 pm (UTC)If I were telling this story myself, I'd reorder some of the lines in the middle, but a linear narrative is not prioritized in Chinese narrative poetry, and this poem highlights this in particularly clear ways precisely because the imagery is woven so well. And Wang was 18 (!) when he wrote it.