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Undeliverable mail
5 April 2009 08:06 pmDear Subconscious,
You can stop with the Aeneid-based dreams any night now.
No love,
Me
* * * * *
Dear Drivers in the Near Lane of a Multilane Street Who Stop for Me As I'm Crossing,
I appreciate that this is a crosswalk-law state and you are yielding me the right-of-way. I really do -- far too many drivers ignore pedestrians.
However, comma.
When I'm on a bicycle, I'm not a pedestrian -- I'm a vehicle. Furthermore, when I'm waiting at the median for a break in traffic on your side of the street, I'm never in a crosswalk -- I'm careful about that. So that's two ways in which you, and not I, have the right-of-way. But the real reason I always wave you on is that while you are stopped in the near lane, drivers in the far lane cannot see me and so are not stopping, and I for one am not going to ride into their path.
So please, drive on. I can wait, and it will make everyone's rush-hour experience better.
Sincerely yours,
Me
* * * * *
Dear Producers of the Cross Game Anime,
Why the hell did you compress the entire first volume into a single opening episode?
No, wait, my apologies. That was rude of me, and in any case not the right question. What I really want to know is how the hell did you successfully adapt volume 1 into a single episode? Because, like, it's all there, and it works even better than the manga.
Much love,
Me
* * * * *
Dear Subconscious,
No, setting it in a contemporary hotel does not disguise it, not when Turnius, Lavinia, and Aeneas are named characters. You'll have to work harder if you want me to not notice.
If your intention was to creep me out, having Turnius and Lavinia shagging in the daytime manager's office worked. Bonus points for that. Now please. Stop. It.
Still no love,
Me
You can stop with the Aeneid-based dreams any night now.
No love,
Me
* * * * *
Dear Drivers in the Near Lane of a Multilane Street Who Stop for Me As I'm Crossing,
I appreciate that this is a crosswalk-law state and you are yielding me the right-of-way. I really do -- far too many drivers ignore pedestrians.
However, comma.
When I'm on a bicycle, I'm not a pedestrian -- I'm a vehicle. Furthermore, when I'm waiting at the median for a break in traffic on your side of the street, I'm never in a crosswalk -- I'm careful about that. So that's two ways in which you, and not I, have the right-of-way. But the real reason I always wave you on is that while you are stopped in the near lane, drivers in the far lane cannot see me and so are not stopping, and I for one am not going to ride into their path.
So please, drive on. I can wait, and it will make everyone's rush-hour experience better.
Sincerely yours,
Me
* * * * *
Dear Producers of the Cross Game Anime,
Why the hell did you compress the entire first volume into a single opening episode?
No, wait, my apologies. That was rude of me, and in any case not the right question. What I really want to know is how the hell did you successfully adapt volume 1 into a single episode? Because, like, it's all there, and it works even better than the manga.
Much love,
Me
* * * * *
Dear Subconscious,
No, setting it in a contemporary hotel does not disguise it, not when Turnius, Lavinia, and Aeneas are named characters. You'll have to work harder if you want me to not notice.
If your intention was to creep me out, having Turnius and Lavinia shagging in the daytime manager's office worked. Bonus points for that. Now please. Stop. It.
Still no love,
Me