"The problem with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."

The answer to the challenge is Robert Browning, of all people. The title is, in full, "On Being Defied to Express in a Hexameter: 'You Ought to Sit on the Safety-Valve'" -- and he does just that, seven times in the first seven lines. With some syntactic gymnastics (full disclosure: some lines, while I get the drift, I can't honestly say I can construe them completely).

The implication is that he's addressing himself in the last line: "Imprint on your mind, little Robert, this complicated verse."

I think I'll pass on that, thanks.

---L.