larryhammer | The anime character pledge

If I am ever a character in a manga or anime, I hereby promise to:

Find a way to save the world without dying.
Not pretend to be someone of my opposite sex while attending a boarding school. Day school is iffy, but can be done as long as my parents aren't forcing me. (Cross-dressing is a different issue, but best left outside of school anyway.)
Take up a martial art other than kendo. Flower-arrangement-jitsu sounds good.
Never be a second-in-command with an angsty backstory. It is inevitably fatal. If I find myself cast as one, I will resign my commission, no matter how much I want revenge against the enemy.
Use my new-found godlike powers only for good. Even if my little sister steals my boyfriend.
Never develop romantic feelings for anyone I call onii-san/onee-san (big brother/big sister), even as a courtesy title. This goes double if I use -sama (respectful address). Triple if I use -chan (familiar or diminutive address). Quadruple if I live alone with him/her.
Never let anyone address me with -chama (diminutive + respectful). If anyone does, I will drop-kick them into the nearest temple/shrine for a exorcism. This goes double if they request that I address them with -chama.
Use stealth and guile to win, not my mad fighting skillz. The latter only leads to more fights and periodic power-ups.
Never live with several other young women plus one young man. No matter how cheap the place is, it's not worth it. Until I can move out, I'll never wear a skirt, always keep on modest underwear, and before bathing or changing clothes, double-check that I'm alone, the door's locked, and shades are drawn tight.
Expect Death to be, say, a cutie in a kimono riding a floating oar, or Santa to be a biker chick on a hovercycle, or the lake monster to be my little brother. These things happen.
Never flash my panties. Ever.
Raise my new-found little sister-or-equivalent without any sexual shenanigans. Except possibly with a classmate my age -- and only if little sister approves of her.
Not take up photography as a hobby, let alone profession.
Decide on my feelings for the girl before the national championships.
Not touch the bishounen. They may be pretty to look at, but anything more can only lead to tears.
Go into chibi form no more than three times a chapter.
Not be a pure-hearted idiot who can be distracted from asking crucial questions such as "Wait -- you knew my mother?" or "Just who ARE you anyway?" by, say, someone pointing out a cute cloud.
Watch out, when I'm disappointed, for my falling word balloon. It hurts if it lands on my head.
Pay attention when jaunty accordion music comes on. It means trouble's starting.
Pay attention to any boy with an attack chicken. He's important.
Pay attention to the penguin that follows me home. It's not important, but it is way cute. If way random.

Did I miss anything?

---L.

Which what? The fact that her lesbian tendencies are correlated with the strength of her personality and her ability to do flying kicks? Or just the strength of her personality and her ability to do flying kicks? Or just her lesbian tendencies?

For some strange reason I don't have a problem with the lesbian tendencies or skimpy attire. ;P

Oh, I don't have a problem with her lesbian tendencies as such--just the fact that in the GITS universe, only "masculine" women can be strong women.

As for skimpy attire, again, no problems here, though see caveats above.

I never really noticed that, but will look the next time I watch/read it.

I mean, there are exceptions -- Kusanagi's girlfriends. The nurse is a girlie-girl, right? With classic, enormous anime breasts.

But then there's Togusa's wife: classic.

Hahaha!

If I were to take offense at her lesbian tendencies, it would be because the character so plainly originated as a male fantasy. Which brings out the knee-jerk reaction: "You know, guys, lesbianism really isn't about you. Like, at all."

She's one of the few female characters to whom I can genuinely relate, which is one of the reasons I like her so much. It seems like almost everytime (I haven't heard that as much about Gally/Alita) a female character doesn't appear to be a mass of what people think a female *should* be, people complain that the character is either a male fantasy, or is written as a guy.

Men who think that lesbians are about them are pretty dense. They ought to attend some kind of educational seminar along with guys who try to use pickup lines like, "Really? My girlfriend is a lesbian," "You haven't had a guy with a big enough dick," and "Was some guy mean to you or something?"

Yeah, I agree--or, more specifically, I think she's one of the few obvious male fantasies to which I can still relate. Her and Y.T. from Snowcrash. And maybe Lara Croft, if I happened to play Tomb Raider.

There are just a few too many obligatory panty shots for me to ever believe that she wasn't originally created as a male fantasy--she's the living embodiment of that stereotype--but in the end, the character is so well-developed and AWESOME that I don't care.

"well-developed" was not intended to be a pun. Alas.

*cough*

That she doesn't wear pants, I think.

oh right, pants.

The anime character pledge

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject