larryhammer | The anime character pledge

If I am ever a character in a manga or anime, I hereby promise to:

Find a way to save the world without dying.
Not pretend to be someone of my opposite sex while attending a boarding school. Day school is iffy, but can be done as long as my parents aren't forcing me. (Cross-dressing is a different issue, but best left outside of school anyway.)
Take up a martial art other than kendo. Flower-arrangement-jitsu sounds good.
Never be a second-in-command with an angsty backstory. It is inevitably fatal. If I find myself cast as one, I will resign my commission, no matter how much I want revenge against the enemy.
Use my new-found godlike powers only for good. Even if my little sister steals my boyfriend.
Never develop romantic feelings for anyone I call onii-san/onee-san (big brother/big sister), even as a courtesy title. This goes double if I use -sama (respectful address). Triple if I use -chan (familiar or diminutive address). Quadruple if I live alone with him/her.
Never let anyone address me with -chama (diminutive + respectful). If anyone does, I will drop-kick them into the nearest temple/shrine for a exorcism. This goes double if they request that I address them with -chama.
Use stealth and guile to win, not my mad fighting skillz. The latter only leads to more fights and periodic power-ups.
Never live with several other young women plus one young man. No matter how cheap the place is, it's not worth it. Until I can move out, I'll never wear a skirt, always keep on modest underwear, and before bathing or changing clothes, double-check that I'm alone, the door's locked, and shades are drawn tight.
Expect Death to be, say, a cutie in a kimono riding a floating oar, or Santa to be a biker chick on a hovercycle, or the lake monster to be my little brother. These things happen.
Never flash my panties. Ever.
Raise my new-found little sister-or-equivalent without any sexual shenanigans. Except possibly with a classmate my age -- and only if little sister approves of her.
Not take up photography as a hobby, let alone profession.
Decide on my feelings for the girl before the national championships.
Not touch the bishounen. They may be pretty to look at, but anything more can only lead to tears.
Go into chibi form no more than three times a chapter.
Not be a pure-hearted idiot who can be distracted from asking crucial questions such as "Wait -- you knew my mother?" or "Just who ARE you anyway?" by, say, someone pointing out a cute cloud.
Watch out, when I'm disappointed, for my falling word balloon. It hurts if it lands on my head.
Pay attention when jaunty accordion music comes on. It means trouble's starting.
Pay attention to any boy with an attack chicken. He's important.
Pay attention to the penguin that follows me home. It's not important, but it is way cute. If way random.

Did I miss anything?

---L.

Aw, but none of those apply to mecha anime!

Well, actually, I suppose they all do apply-- just not to good mecha anime.

Only a few of these apply to good anime in general. Where by "few" I mean "far too many."

What are the good mecha anime? (Would you include Simoun?)

---L.

I haven't seen Simoun, nor do I know anything about it.

I must grudgingly admit that Neon Genesis Evangelion is good, even if I don't understand it at all.

Gasaraki is very good. I like the Universal Century Gundam stuff, but I'm not always sure that it is very good. I've only seen one episode of Wings of Rean, but it is definitely interesting.

I find that I've been watching a lot of older anime lately, and not much newer stuff. The older hard sci-fi appeals to me more, for some reason.

Neon Genesis Evangelion is IMHO pretentious crapola. Too painful to watch for too little meaning.

If it were being an angstfest for the sake of SOMETHING, rather than for its own sake, I'd be better willing to stomach it.

Maybe I'm being a bit harsh?

But yeesh, the formerly-insanely-depressed director says he just threw in the Christian imagery just because it looked cool to him.

I'd probably rather suffer branding irons than watch that bloody show again. Life's too short to waste on dark fluff like that.

Yes, but throwing things in just because the creator finds them cool is how great art gets made. (This is formally known as Steven Brust's Cool Shit Theory of Literature.)

Not that doing it will necessarily create great art or even something good, but without passion behind it it'll certainly be dead. Nor necessarily NGE is good.

---L.

Maybe I'm misinterpreting what constitutes art here, which seems to be a bad habit of mine.

All I know is that NGE has left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. Perhaps it was more because of the fans, but I distinctly get a feeling of "I'd rather not watch that again" on remembering my first viewing of it.

The anime character pledge

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