"And of Orlando I will also tell / Things unattempted yet in prose or rhyme"

[larryhammer]

It's instructive to compare the opening stanza of various versions of Orlando Furioso ("Roland Enraged").

Ariosto text (1532 revision):

Le donne, i cavallier, l'arme, gli amori,
le cortesie, l'audaci imprese io canto,
che furo al tempo che passaro i Mori
d'Africa il mare, e in Francia nocquer tanto,
seguendo l'ire e i giovenil furori
d'Agramante lor re, che si diè vanto
di vendicar la morte di Troiano
sopra re Carlo imperator romano.

Harington translation (1591):

Of Dames, of Knights, of armes, of loves delight,
Of courtesies, of high attempts I speake,
Then when the Moores transported all their might
On Africke seas, the force of France to breake:
Incited by the youthfull heate and spight
Of Agramant their King, that vow'd to wreake
The death of King Trayano (lately slaine)
Upon the Romane Emperour Charlemaine.

Rose translation (1823):

OF LOVES and LADIES, KNIGHTS and ARMS, I sing,
Of COURTESIES, and many a DARING FEAT;
And from those ancient days my story bring,
When Moors from Afric passed in hostile fleet,
And ravaged France, with Agramant their king,
Flushed with his youthful rage and furious heat,
Who on king Charles', the Roman emperor's head
Had vowed due vengeance for Troyano dead.

Reynolds translation (1975):

Of ladies, cavaliers, of love and war,
Of courtesies and of brave deeds I sing,
In times of high endevour when the Moor
Had crossed the sea from Africa to bring
Great harm to France, when Agramante swore
In wrath, being now the youthful Moorish king,
To avenge Troiano, who was lately slain,
Upon the Roman Emperor Charlemagne.

I, of course, already have my biases here, but clearly this is the sort of thing online polls were invented for. Well, that and the dinner menu -- but since it's Janni's turn to cook tonight that would be beside the point.

[Poll #1745137]

Comments

[larryhammer]

Exactly, on knowing when to preserve a feature of the original -- which is sometimes harder than others. It's ... an interesting challenge.

Reynold's is definitely preferable to Rose, for the first line order. The poem as a whole plays around with the possible pairings -- there are two lady knights of major plot importance (one from each side) and there are knights that get lost in love (most notably Orlando, who goes mad for disappointed love). Which just goes to show it's an epic chivalric romance.

---L.

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

Then I certainly prefer the chiasmus to the synchysis, though the latter is passable.

Translation is freaking hard. You can never preserve everything at once; you have to prioritize, and some readers will always disagree with your choices.

[larryhammer]

Yup, yup.

Heck, *I* disagree with some of my own choices. Especially when faced with, say, one of Ki no Tsurayuki's better efforts. Though with Japanese, I'm rarely as worried about preserving order -- all too often syntax differences is going to prevent that anyway -- as ambiguity and double-meanings.

But circling back to that first line, context affects local choices -- where sometimes the context is the whole schmere.

---L.

[larryhammer]

Okay, I just spent 15 minutes failing to find the formal name of the AABB structure ...

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

Heh. I wondered, but was too lazy to search.

[larryhammer]

When Silva Rhetoricae fails you, you know it's going to be hard.

---L.

[(Anonymous)]

I believe it's known as "Agnetha before Björn," or, in the high tradition, "Ladies first." --Matt

[larryhammer]

No, that's the ABBA structure.

---L.

[(Anonymous)]

But I thought Anni-Frid was the first "A"!

MY LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE

[larryhammer]

Like I can remember the order of the names.

Or even, all their names.

---L.