Okay, sure. You've probably heard the Sherlock Holmes and Watson camping one already, but here's a calculus joke I found.
Two American college professors are eating lunch and drinking coffee at a cafe. The subject drifts around (naturally) to education in the U.S.
"Look, if you compare us to anywhere in the world, we're the worst mathematicians anywhere!" says the first professor. "Worse grades, worse competition scores, worse test scores..."
"I'm just saying that I don't think it's as bad as you imply," says the second professor. "America's universities are among the best in the world; it's not..."
"Because people move here for university!" interrupts the first. "If you go out on the street, people don't know anything! Why, I bet that our waitress can't even answer a basic calculus problem!"
The second professor hesitates. "You would, eh?"
"In a second!"
"Fifty bucks?"
"Absolutely!"
"You're on," says the second professor. "I'll ask her when she brings the check. In the meantime, I gotta take a leak. Be right back."
As he walks towards the stalls, however, he carefully detours to pass their waitress as she brings out coffee to another table. "Meet me by the restrooms," he whispers to her, not breaking stride, and he proceeds to hide by the entrance.
A few minutes later, the waitress shows up. She is about to speak when the professor hands her a bill.
"Here's twenty bucks," he says. "Now, when you bring the check, I'm going to ask you a question. I want you to answer, 'One third ex cubed.' Repeat it back to me."
"'One third ex cubed.'"
"Good work. Don't tell anyone." And he walks back to his table.
The professors spend a few more minutes talking and finishing their coffees and danishes, then the first professor signals the waitress to bring the check. She nods, goes into the kitchen, then brings out the check.
"Thank you," says the second professor. "Oh, and by the way: what's the integral of x2?"
The waitress freezes.
"Uh," she says, dumbly. She looks up, staring, as if the wall might have the answer on it.
The second professor begins to get nervous.
"Um..." she says.
Suddenly, she smiles. "One third ex cubed!" she says, triumphantly.
"D—n!" says the first professor. He reaches for his wallet, pulls out fifty bucks, and hands it across the table.
"Told you you were too pessimistic. Here, take the bill out of that," the second professor says, passing a bill to the waitress.
She takes it, turns around, and begins walking away. Then she turns back.
no subject
Two American college professors are eating lunch and drinking coffee at a cafe. The subject drifts around (naturally) to education in the U.S.
"Look, if you compare us to anywhere in the world, we're the worst mathematicians anywhere!" says the first professor. "Worse grades, worse competition scores, worse test scores..."
"I'm just saying that I don't think it's as bad as you imply," says the second professor. "America's universities are among the best in the world; it's not..."
"Because people move here for university!" interrupts the first. "If you go out on the street, people don't know anything! Why, I bet that our waitress can't even answer a basic calculus problem!"
The second professor hesitates. "You would, eh?"
"In a second!"
"Fifty bucks?"
"Absolutely!"
"You're on," says the second professor. "I'll ask her when she brings the check. In the meantime, I gotta take a leak. Be right back."
As he walks towards the stalls, however, he carefully detours to pass their waitress as she brings out coffee to another table. "Meet me by the restrooms," he whispers to her, not breaking stride, and he proceeds to hide by the entrance.
A few minutes later, the waitress shows up. She is about to speak when the professor hands her a bill.
"Here's twenty bucks," he says. "Now, when you bring the check, I'm going to ask you a question. I want you to answer, 'One third ex cubed.' Repeat it back to me."
"'One third ex cubed.'"
"Good work. Don't tell anyone." And he walks back to his table.
The professors spend a few more minutes talking and finishing their coffees and danishes, then the first professor signals the waitress to bring the check. She nods, goes into the kitchen, then brings out the check.
"Thank you," says the second professor. "Oh, and by the way: what's the integral of x2?"
The waitress freezes.
"Uh," she says, dumbly. She looks up, staring, as if the wall might have the answer on it.
The second professor begins to get nervous.
"Um..." she says.
Suddenly, she smiles. "One third ex cubed!" she says, triumphantly.
"D—n!" says the first professor. He reaches for his wallet, pulls out fifty bucks, and hands it across the table.
"Told you you were too pessimistic. Here, take the bill out of that," the second professor says, passing a bill to the waitress.
She takes it, turns around, and begins walking away. Then she turns back.
"Plus a constant," she says.